Okay, better start draft number three.

Those are words I did not want to think. I did not want to consider the shambles that is otherwise called ‘draft two’. I did not want to entertain the possibility that I had failed as a writer. Alas, I did think those words, I did consider the shambles and I have failed.

The shambles that is otherwise called ‘my book’ has reached it’s dramatic incompletion for the second time running. But, with good reason.

It just doesn’t feel… right.

I had similar problems with draft one. That attempt just felt… ugh. But now I’m hoping draft three is going to be the one. If there’s anything I’ve learned about this whole process, it’s that writing takes time. Once December has passed, this book would’ve been in existence for a total of eight whole years! Eight! I’ve doubled in size over the past eight years. I’ve completed my GCSEs, A-Levels and university degree over the past eight years. I’ve lived in seven different houses over the past eight years. So much has happened, a lot has changed, but the book has always remained constant. Well, the fact I am writing one has always remained constant. It’s one of those things I like mentioning to people as an ice-breaker:

“Yeah, I’m a web developer, I eat chicken and I’m writing a book!”
“Wait, you’re writing a book?”

I like looking at the surprise on people’s faces. It’s as if they can’t make the connection between nerd and writer:

“Shouldn’t you be in a dimly lit room playing video games?”

Actually, I think that’s where the problem lies. I have always been too tempted by other things to give those previous drafts the time they deserve. The only reason they feel ‘not right’ and ‘ugh’ is because I lose interest. When I see 142 pages and know that I have to change some part in the middle then propagate those changes throughout the rest of the book, I want to give up. I think I’m to blame for that also. I write these drafts with no plan. I just have a general idea and see how far I can go before I need to stop and think. That sort of style works for these short blog posts, but perhaps not an entire novel. Perhaps.

There is an upside to all of this. Now I’ve given myself a chance to grow, the idea for draft three is the one which makes the most sense. Both of the previous drafts featured some inconceivable, totally ridiculous plot twist that would never happen in real life. I’ve always wanted to keep this book as realistic as possible but if you were to read those previous drafts you would think “Flipping heck, what’s in his pipe?”

Once again, I would really love to tell you about this book, but I’m paranoid and don’t trust the internet.

In the meantime, this is the thought which is keeping me going:

This is going to be the last draft. Imagine if this is your only chance to be on a worldwide stage and this is the only medium:

What would you tell the world?

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